jsantoliquito
12-29-2010, 05:11 PM
Tucker Who?
By Joseph Santoliquito
I think I might have heard Tucker Carlson’s name broached maybe three times over the last four years. That’s about it for me. My tolerance level for pedantic blowhards isn’t very high, so I’ll pass on good ‘ole Tuck.
My guess is many Eagles’ fans haven’t heard of nor know good ‘ole Tuck, either. If you don’t know good ‘ole Tuck, let me put it to you this way—my man Tuck used to wear a bowtie on his TV show on one of those talking-head networks, Fox or MSNBC. One of them. Does it really matter? Most of us work during the day, so we rarely get to imbibe in the font of knowledge that spews from daytime TV.
Maybe a few more Eagles’ fans know this fool today for the following statement that fell from his lipstick lips about Eagles’ quarterback Michael Vick: “I'm a Christian. I've made mistakes myself. I believe fervently in second chances. But Michael Vick killed dogs. And he did so in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that.” Some Christian, that good ‘ole Tick, I mean Tuck. He’s special.
What stirred Carlson’s deeply reflective statement was President Obama giving a call to Eagles’ owner Jeffrey Lurie to express his appreciation over Lurie allowing a second chance to Vick, who spent 19 months in Leavenworth federal prison for the dog-fighting ring Vick supported and financially backed.
Let’s establish something here: What Vick did was heinous and unimaginable. In no way do I support it, or can even imagine it. But Vick did his time, lost tens of millions of dollars over it, had to rehab his image, not to mention bore the scorn of millions for his actions. He has served his penance—and to some degree, still is.
But “executing” Vick over what he did? The mere mention of anyone being electrocuted or given a lethal injection for what Vick did is incomprehensible. I couldn’t fathom putting the two thoughts together—but apparently the premise couldn’t slide by good ‘ole Tuck.
His foolish utterance splashed all over the Internet on Wednesday faster than new naked shots of Halle Berry.
Guys like Tucker Carlson and his ilk are all the same. Really, they are. Once you’ve seen one highbrow, I-know-everything-and-you-don’t spigot you’ve pretty much seen them all. They’re condescending. Spurious in their everyman depiction they think they’re portraying to us unwashed masses, while actually thinking every syllable that spills from their magnanimous brainpans deserves to be gifted wrapped with a special red bow.
Good ‘ole Tuck did his job. He got people talking. He caught me. His inane comment grabbed me. Guilty as charged. But I think it would be fun to throw out my own inane statement about good ‘ole Tuck: He should be locked in a room with Vick, and see what transpires then. I’m not saying good ‘ole Tuck should be executed for being an ignorant a—hole, but that would be pretty damned close, wouldn’t you say?
Joseph Santoliquito is a national sportswriter who is based in the Philadelphia area. You can follow him on Twitter @JSantoliquito
By Joseph Santoliquito
I think I might have heard Tucker Carlson’s name broached maybe three times over the last four years. That’s about it for me. My tolerance level for pedantic blowhards isn’t very high, so I’ll pass on good ‘ole Tuck.
My guess is many Eagles’ fans haven’t heard of nor know good ‘ole Tuck, either. If you don’t know good ‘ole Tuck, let me put it to you this way—my man Tuck used to wear a bowtie on his TV show on one of those talking-head networks, Fox or MSNBC. One of them. Does it really matter? Most of us work during the day, so we rarely get to imbibe in the font of knowledge that spews from daytime TV.
Maybe a few more Eagles’ fans know this fool today for the following statement that fell from his lipstick lips about Eagles’ quarterback Michael Vick: “I'm a Christian. I've made mistakes myself. I believe fervently in second chances. But Michael Vick killed dogs. And he did so in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that.” Some Christian, that good ‘ole Tick, I mean Tuck. He’s special.
What stirred Carlson’s deeply reflective statement was President Obama giving a call to Eagles’ owner Jeffrey Lurie to express his appreciation over Lurie allowing a second chance to Vick, who spent 19 months in Leavenworth federal prison for the dog-fighting ring Vick supported and financially backed.
Let’s establish something here: What Vick did was heinous and unimaginable. In no way do I support it, or can even imagine it. But Vick did his time, lost tens of millions of dollars over it, had to rehab his image, not to mention bore the scorn of millions for his actions. He has served his penance—and to some degree, still is.
But “executing” Vick over what he did? The mere mention of anyone being electrocuted or given a lethal injection for what Vick did is incomprehensible. I couldn’t fathom putting the two thoughts together—but apparently the premise couldn’t slide by good ‘ole Tuck.
His foolish utterance splashed all over the Internet on Wednesday faster than new naked shots of Halle Berry.
Guys like Tucker Carlson and his ilk are all the same. Really, they are. Once you’ve seen one highbrow, I-know-everything-and-you-don’t spigot you’ve pretty much seen them all. They’re condescending. Spurious in their everyman depiction they think they’re portraying to us unwashed masses, while actually thinking every syllable that spills from their magnanimous brainpans deserves to be gifted wrapped with a special red bow.
Good ‘ole Tuck did his job. He got people talking. He caught me. His inane comment grabbed me. Guilty as charged. But I think it would be fun to throw out my own inane statement about good ‘ole Tuck: He should be locked in a room with Vick, and see what transpires then. I’m not saying good ‘ole Tuck should be executed for being an ignorant a—hole, but that would be pretty damned close, wouldn’t you say?
Joseph Santoliquito is a national sportswriter who is based in the Philadelphia area. You can follow him on Twitter @JSantoliquito